Make your eyes the Perfect Make America Rake Again Four Seasons Total Landscaping Lawn And Order Shirt. Roll out of your head.ead the books. Had to stop like 20 minutes in. Idk when they’ll learn that massively changing YA stories when adapting them into movies doesn’t work. Didn’t work for Percy Jackson, didn’t work for the diary of a wimpy kid, didn’t work for Artemis Fowl. I used to love books. And the movies literally ruined everything that made them good. Literally everything. Disney just had to change certain details to make it more “kid-friendly” or whatever. Nothing about this movie was good. Not the story, acting, or direction. I saw the trailers, gleaned the fact that Artemis was supposed to be the savior/protector of the fairies.
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Noped the Perfect Make America Rake Again Four Seasons Total Landscaping Lawn And Order Shirts out right there. The dude is an anti-hero for admittedly not horrifically bad reasons (I’d probably chose different ways to achieve the same goals, but his family is organized criminals). There was literally nothing appealing about the trailer. It entirely came across as the same old “young adult book adaptation” schlock that sucks the soul from the source material and leaves a desiccated husk you can’t even pretend to enjoy I got noticeably drunk watching that in a discord party with my partner and brothers and their girlfriends. From about halfway on it was like a fever dream, and entirely enjoyable for that aspect. I’ll never watch it. Artemis Fowl.
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