I’m new to the sub but not to working through childhood trauma stuff. But I’ve been stuck on certain thought patterns and there are a few things you’ve written I’ve saved to think about further. Like the bit about the Nice Cats The Best Therapist Has Fur And Four Legs Shirt. With your life and that maybe you can only improve when you reduce how much is in your life. Knowing my limitations has opened up other areas that I didn’t know I could excel in. Saying Nope, I don’t have the capability to do that has become empowering. I KNOW MYSELF. That’s all it means. That alone is progress for us with CPTSD. Hmmm. I guess I don’t “push” myself 100% outside of my comfort zone; I do baby steps.
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Like, I used to be an avid camper, before agoraphobia and panic attacks started to occur more and more in my life. Now just getting to a park with a picnic blanket is an accomplishment. After a few Sundays of that, I might agree to a bonfire at someone’s house. I’m testing my social circle as much as I’m testing myself, to see if I am compatible with this Nice Cats The Best Therapist Has Fur And Four Legs Shirt. I have no idea where that superwoman courage came from. I miss that confidence, but I’m not about to just throw myself back on stage just because I’ve written a bunch of new stuff for the first time in forever. But I can sing out loud at home, and remind my body and soul what it feels like to sustain those notes.
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Maybe after a hundred reminders, I invite someone over to show them what I’ve been working on. Maybe I’ll do an open mic later this year, but I’m not setting an official dated goal. Baby steps. I don’t throw myself into new Nice Cats The Best Therapist Has Fur And Four Legs Shirt. The border around our Comfort Zone is wide; we can kind of just wade around in that until we’re ready to breakthrough. I always check in with myself- what am I scared of? What am I reacting to? Am I afraid of something that actually can and will hurt me maliciously? Or am I reacting to old residual trauma? Because if it’s the latter, I don’t know this new thing I’m trying is detrimental or not. Thank you so much for replying. Much appreciated. More food for thought!