I have tried asking her if there are any classes/hobbies she would like to take to fill the time, but she isn’t interested in it. She doesn’t want to look for work any time soon, which is fine considering I earn more than enough to support us both. It’s not a fine-the woman is apparently spending 8 hours a day hovering in the kitchen over the coffee pot and having a breakdown I Am Not Mean I Am Just Too Old To Pretend I Like You Shirt if you don’t chug it down. She’s trying desperately to feel useful, to have a reason to interact with the only other human around, or both.
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That’s really not the root of the issue here. This is completely abnormal – I could think of no worse a hell than doing nothing but making coffee all day while my SO works. This is a deeper issue than it seems and OP needs to stop enabling it now and get her some help whatever that maybe get the feeling many who commented here got I Am Not Mean I Am Just Too Old To Pretend I Like You Shirt a really strong sense of her being the problem as OP stated they have talked about it, and I’m not saying they haven’t. But what did they say? Did they both listen and try to understand each other? Impossible for us to know.
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I think a lot of people who think in words don’t realize that not everyone else does that. When I try to explain what’s going on in my head, it’s literally like trying to translate those feelings I Am Not Mean I Am Just Too Old To Pretend I Like You Shirt into another language. More than that, it’s like trying to translate legal or medical terms into a language that you only speak conversationally.
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